The Evil Ranger
A ranger approaches. < Look! A RAAAAAAAAAANNNGEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Narrator: Haras's ranger meets Strider the ranger.
Hanna: Strider, you can come out now!
Aragorn comes out from under a bush. Aragorn: Hullo.
Aragorn is getting annoyed.
Aragorn: Hullo! do you speak?
Aragorn: Aaaaahhhhhhhh! I'm being killed! Aahhhhhh....................................
Ranger: Ha ha ha!
Narrator: I comes and separates Aragorn and the other ranger.
Aragorn: I need elvish medicine for my ranger bites. take me to Rivendell.
Hanna: I'll call paramedics.
Cell phone: beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep! rrrrrring! rrrrrring!
Narrator: an ambulance pulls up and takes Strider away. The other Ranger is still growling.
Hanna: I don't think they like each other v. much.
Ranger: Ha ha ha! He he he! I liked him VEEEERRRRRY Much!
Aragorn is looking sad. Strider: he bit me all over and it hurts! Keep him away from me!
Ranger: Roar! I'll catch you Aragorn!
Narrator: The Eeeeeeeeevvvvviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllllll Ranger
Starts to chase Aragorn.
Narrator: Aragorn locks himself in Rivendell. Elrond won't let The Forest Ranger in.
Ranger: I'll knock down the door, someday!!! Grrrr....
Ranger : Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................................... Look! i found a giant carrot!
Narrator: The EVIL ranger starts to knock down the door with the giant carrot.
Narrator: Meriadoc comes and sees the carrot.
Merry: Where did u get that carrot? I like carrots??
Ranger: I found it! It's mine get your own giant carrot!
Merry: Roar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll get that carrot from you!
Ranger: No you won't!
Narrator: The evil ranger knocks down the door with the carrot. He names the carrot Fred. Fred
and the evil ranger search for Aragorn.
Narrator: Merry walks into Rivendell, silently following the Ranger and Fred. He looks around carefully
and sees Strider & Elrond hiding behind a door.
Merry: Strider!!! Elrond!!! It's after you! follow me!
They follow Merry to Brandy Hall in Buckland, where Bilbo, Frodo, and Pippin are waiting for him.
Merry pulls Elrond and Aragorn inside and locks the door.
Merry: at least we are safe for a little while. We must make a plan to get that carrrot!!!!!
Ranger: Where could they be? i can't find them anywhere! Grrr...
Fred: Look! Here's a note!
Ranger: What does it say?
Fred: It says,
" Dear Whoever,
If you are looking for Elrond he is in Brandy Hall in Buckland
with Aragorn, Merry, Pippin, Frodo, and Bilbo hiding from and evil ranger
and a carrot. If you are the evil ranger or the carrot do not read this note.
Ranger: Fred, let's go to Brandy Hall in Buckland.
Narrator: Fred and the EVIL ranger go to Brandy Hall in Buckland.
At Brandy Hall.....
Merry: So the plan is that the Ranger will find us sometime. I will open
the front door and destract him, while you , Pip, walk out the back door & arround so he does not see you. Come behind
him & tickle him. If he drops Fred, Elrond will grab it and run to Pippin's house. If he does not drop it, I will grab
it from him and throw it to Elrond, who will take it to Pippin's house. We will shout for Elrond to take it too Bag End, (and
he'll shout back "o.k!"), but he will really go to Pippin's house. The rest of us will go to Bag End and wait for him there.
Frodo & Bilbo: O.K!
Frodo: Jynx! Personal jynx! Bilbo Bilbo!
Ranger:Look Fred! There it is!
Fred: But what if that horrible hobbit that wanted to eat me is here?
Ranger: Quick! Jump into my pocket!
Narrator: Fred jumps into the evil ranger's pocket.
Fred: Hey! I can't breathe in here.
Ranger: Oh. Go hide behind that bush way over there. Tell the berries in the bush to hide you
and if anyone askes the berries where they are tell the berries not to tell them. Only if
I tell them to let me have you. Tell them the password is....................
Narrator: The evil ranger whispers the password in Fred's ears. Even though he is a carrot
he has ears. The evil ranger goes into Brandy Hall. He does not knock first cuz he is evil.
Merry: Hi would you like to buy some chocolate? Yum! Chocolate.....It is grown from a bean. It
is very good for you just don't eat too much cause it would then be bad for you.TASTY!!!! Comes in normal or peanut.....
Ranger: Yum! Chocolate is goooood! tell me more!
Narrator: while Merry and the Ranger are talking, Pippin and Elrond start tickling him.
Ranger: Hooha! Hee-hee-hee! that's ticklish!!! HAAAA!!!!
Pip: Hey! where is that carrot!
Narrator: Frodo sees the carrot fall out of the berry bush and it said "ouch". He slowly approaches.........
Fred: Ouch! Hey that hurt!
George the Berry: Oops! Sorry! There's no room in here.
Bob the Berry: Why don't you go to the
raspberry bush next door? They have LOTS of room!
Fred: O.K. Thanks! But what if that crazy hobbit sees me?
Bob: There's a hobbit after you?!?!?! Oh no!!!! This is very very bad.
Narrator: Bob whispers something to George. George whispers something to Larry (Larry is also a
berry). Larry whispers something to another berry. Soon the whole bush is whispering.
Larry: We've got an idea, Fred. Listen VERY carefully! This is a very complicated plan! The berries
in our bush will distract the hobbit. Then you will run as fast as you can to the raspberry bush. Keep running no matter
what. The thorns on the raspberry bush will keep that mean old hobbit out. And stay in the middle of the bush.
Narrator: The berries jump out of the bush. Frodo is almost to the bush.
Bob: Even though some of us might get eaten or squished or.......................
Narrator: Frodo steps on Bob, squishing him with his big hairy feet.
Berries and Fred: Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
George: Fred, run! We'll distract him!
Narrator: Fred runs and runs and runs. Just as he get's to the raspberry bush he looks back. The
berries are dancing and singing in front of Frodo and he is VERY distracted.
Fred hides in the middle of the raspberry bush and he is safe............. for now.
Narrator: Merry, Pippin, and Elrond are now showing the Ranger how to play tig.The berries are
singing "Steve the egg who woke up next to sausages" while square dancing.Frodo is VERY distracted by berries. Bilbo suddenly
gets a plan.
Bilbo: Aragorn, while everyone else is busy doing something, we shall run to my house and lock
the door. Then you will be safe!!!!!
Narrator:Bilbo and Aragorn go to Bag End and nobody notices them. Meanwhile.......
Frodo: sing another!!!
George: But we sang every song we know!
Frodo: Then I'm board of you.
Narrator: Frodo goes over to the raspberry bush to try to get Fred. Gimli pops out of a nearby
Gimli: Hyah!!! you will never find the mithril berry before ME!
Frodo: mithril berry?
Gimli: YES!!!! my sister said some Relf told her that each raspberry plant grows a berry that is
PURE MITHRIL!!!!! I WILL FIND IT BEFORE YOU!!!! HHHHRRRRAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!